I have some pretty kickass cheerleaders in my inner circle. I like to think I have them because I too am a kickass cheerleader for the important things in their lives.
Booked a cool trip? Good on ya! Got offered that job you desperately wanted? Let’s go for celebratory drinks! Had a baby? That’s cool too (but please don’t make me hold it)!
There are, however, some people who will always try to undermine your achievements (most likely, due to insecurities).
Those insecurities are:
1) Not your problem!
And 2) Should never, EVER mess with your pride/happiness/juju.
I’ve experienced people in my life (not friends, but acquaintances) who I’ve had conversations with like this:
Me: “I’m climbing to Everest Base Camp!”
Them: “… Space Camp?” (this is all too familiar to my fellow trekkers)
Me: “No, BASE Camp”
Them: “I thought you were going to Everest.”
Me: “I am. I’m hiking to Everest Base Camp”
Them: “Ohhh, JUST Base Camp. You know, you can’t really say you climbed Everest, right?”
My initial reaction (which I hate to admit) used to be anger. My thoughts bounced around from “Tell me more about YOUR 11-day trek to just base camp” to “This person clearly knows nothing about the difficulty and intensity of training that’s required for this”…
But then, something switched in my brain.
Yes, they clearly don’t know the level of intensity this excursion requires. It’s so far off their radar, they couldn’t possibly know. And, that’s okay!
What’s not okay is underplaying someone’s achievements or goals.
It’s January; chances are, people around you have set some hefty goals for the new year. This is your chance to be the best damn cheerleader and friend to them by encouraging them, believing in them and helping them instill that inner confidence that no one can f*ck with.
Telling me I’m “just” climbing to Everest Base Camp is like telling someone they’re “just” running a half marathon or “just” lost 10 pounds. It’s kind of a nasty, passive aggressive word that we should all try to eliminate when talking about someone’s goals.
I think this can be transferable to pretty much anything in life.
Some people are just wired to always focus on negative things. They’re the coworkers you have who go “Ughhh, it’s just Tuesday!!” and “I can’t believe it’s just 2:00, this day is never-ending!”.
Of course I’ve had my fair share of moments like this (my life isn’t rainbows and unicorns ALL the time), but I make an effort to not vocalize said thoughts and try to catch myself whenever I think this way in order to correct my thought process.
Instead of DYING for 5:00 pm, the weekend or a vacation to come faster, I try to find small joys throughout my day to look forward to and get excited about.
“Ouuu girl, once you finish this task you should treat yo-self to a hot chocolate from Starbucks. And you know what? The walk there will do you a world of good, too.”
Once you’ve trained your brain to do this small shift, it will eventually come naturally. Roald Dahl has that famous quote that I adore and I think it fits in nicely here:
“If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”
I guess the point of this post is to gently remind you (and, myself) to never let anyone rain on your parade, dim your shine… Or piss on your Corn Flakes. That’s an expression, right? Gross.
So, you keep on doin’ you!
And if you don’t have decent cheerleaders in your life then it’s probably time to reevaluate your friendships. Surround yourself with people who give you constant ego boosts and remind you that the shi*t you’re striving for is not only completely doable, but really friggin’ cool, too.
Without any “just”s!